The Agrinautica

   In my five years of involvement in ASUCD, I have seen a lot of extremely shady antics. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe power corrupts, I believe power allows the already-prone-to-corruption to show themselves. There are a lot of scandals in real government, and students love to point these out – but what most people don’t realize is that its not because the people involved in our government are more prone to corruption than your average person – its that they have much greater opportunities (and are under much much greater scrutiny, thus revealing every indiscretion).
   That said, I believe what ASUCD does is show us how badly your average ambitious person behaves when given a little bit of power. Or at least, when not behaving downright badly, it really exhibits how much their perspectives change to what is convenient for them.


The Good List
   Unfortunately, those with exemplary good ethical standards don’t necessarily stand out the way bad ethics do. I would like to start on a good note however, by mentioning those who have impressed me with their ethics:

Surprisingly Admirable:
(ii) ( Ari Kalfayan )

(i) ( Nafeh Malik )

Exemplary Nonstudents:
(ii) ( Don Dudley, SJA & CJB )

(i) ( Mark Champagne )

Actually Exemplary:
(5) ( Go Funai )

(4) & (3) ( Justices Powers & Wheat )

(2) ( Jon Leathers )

(1) ( Aggie Editor-in-Chief Matty Jojola )

   It should be noted, that I cannot account for the most EFFECTIVE people in ASUCD, since I am not in a position to judge how well people are running the busses or running GASC etc etc. The above is a list of those who have had the opportunity to show exemplary ethics (or at least, for the group above that, have more value than people give them credit for). And below, below is a list of the most lacking in ethics.


ASUCD’s Most Ethically Misguided

Mildly Annoying:
(iv) ( Paul Harms )

(iii) ( Kalen Gallagher )

(ii-i) ( Sara Henry & Paloma Perez )

Ethically Dysfunctional:
(22) ( Thomas Lloyd )

(21) ( Anyone who, during their term, abandoned or defected from the platform they were elected on )

(20) ( Jamie Ackerman )

(19) ( Chris Goran )

(18) ( Mary Vasquez )

(17) ( Aggie Reporter Talia Kennedy )

(16) ( Aggie Reporter Aimee Theron )

(15-11) ( Aggie Editor-in-Chiefs Vo, Whelan, Fuller, Stone & Hamilton )

(10) ( Andrew Peake )

(9) ( Kai Savaree-Ruess )

(8-6) ( The Unqualified Candidates )

(5) ( Rob Roy )

(4) ( Kristen Birdsall )

(3) ( Chief Justice Turner )

(2) ( Vice President Beaman )

(1) ( Tiqula Bledsoe )

(BONUS) ( Bonus! )

   And now… I probably have significantly more enemies. It should be noted that I think many of the people mentioned above are very nice people in general. In particular I feel a bit torn about the “Unqualified Candidates” themselves because they all turned out to be pretty nice people and kept themselves out of any further shadiness that I know of, but it would be hard to justify not including them on the list.
   Anyway, my hope in posting this is that people who are just becoming involved in ASUCD will read it and keep in mind what NOT to do in the future.

Phase 1: All Fun And Games
   Last week there was a rally at Davis. In fact I think there were several. People may have even gotten arrested. However, they were all overshadowed by something a small group of the Davis College Republicans ("DCR") did.
   DCR held an "illegal-immigration" themed game of tag. One side played the INS, and the other played the unlawful immigrants. Team INS had to play with their hands behind their back, and every ten minutes all captured illegal immigrants were granted amnesty and set free.
   As far as I'm concerned, this seems to be a completely ligitimate and create way to express the policy viewpoint that the organizers have, ie that the INS is unable to do their job because they have their "hands tied" in various ways and the periodic amnesties make stemming the tide especially hopeless (in their opinion). Its a policy viewpoint and whether or not one agrees with it, its not crazy.
   However, liberals on campus just about had a kineption, declaring the event "unaccptable." This, ironically, gave the event more publicity previous to the rallies, more press coverage during the rallies, and a lot more press coverage following the rallies, than the rallies themselves.


Phase 2: An ASUCD Inquisition
   Now it just so happened that one Pete Markovich participated with the Republicans in the rally. Markovich, however, is the Chair of the ASUCD Academic Affairs Commission, and in ASUCD, you practice political expression at your own risk. For his participation in the DCR event, Markovich has been called before a Senate closed hearing at today's meeting.
   Organizers of the witch-hunt (which appears to be Andrew Peake and Molly Fluet) initially publicly said at last weeks Senate meeting that they were going to attempt to fire Markovich, but are now apparently considering pushing for a censure instead, which would be easier to get (as it wouldn't entail losing a good commission chair). Additionally, the procedures in the bylaws for censure call for a closed session significantly WITHOUT the defendant having the right to an open session that removal allows. Considering that so many people have expressed an interest in coming to this meeting (There is of course an "I Support Pete" facebook group) that the meeting has been moved to Freeborn auditorium the Coffee House (6pm). (as of 12:26pm the day of)
   Also in the bylaws for censure are several problems -- such as that the procedure currently only applies to elected officials (ie the P/VP & Senators), not appointed Commission Chairs; AND notification of a defendant that he's being considered for censure must be done two days prior to the meeting -- something that was not done. The Senate will have to suspend the bylaws in order to burn Markovich at the stake in this manner. They have, however, covered their bases by initiating the normal removal procedures against him.
   Incidentally, because it occured to them that a public censure was a bit like publicizing a personnel issue, they decided to opt for "rei censure" (as opposed to the other centure in the bylaws, "personae censure"), which focuses on the action rather than the personality of the person. Aside from the fact that I don't think this clears the taboo of publicizing evaluations of personnel's actions, I think they made it up!! -- despite searching the depths of the internets I could not find a single reference to censures being divided into "rei" and "personae."

   Furthermore, as the legendary Igor Birman, Esq, notes:

   ...California Labor Code Section 1101 prohibits employers from controlling, directing, or tending to direct, the political activities of its employees. Labor Code Section 1102 prohibits employers from firing, or threatening to fire, their employees in order to coerce them into following, or refraining from following, any particular course or line of political actions or political activity.
   Furthermore, in a 1979 landmark decision, the California Supreme Court held that these code
sections "serve to protect the 'fundamental right of employees in general to engage in political activity without interference from employers.'" Gay Law Students Assn. v. Pacific Tel. & Tel. Co., 24 Cal.3d 458, 487 (1979).
   [Senate] actions to interfere with the course of Mr. Markevich’s employment, whether by dismissal, other sanction or even by commencing proceedings to discuss sanctions would be in gross violation of state labor laws, as well as Federal Civil Rights statutes. As such, [these] actions would open ASUCD to state and federal litigation and corresponding penalties. ...

   So one fine day on Daviswiki, contention erupted over the shadiness factor of Campus Crusade for Christ. To help solve this controversy, Emosnail staff benevolently volunteered to do some polling on the subject, but in response noted local Republican George Andrews stated "having Fricke do a poll on Campus Crusade in EMOSNAIL is like having me do a poll on Nathan Thomas/Black Caesar/Dan Beeman Approval ratings among DCR members."
   We then posted polls both here and on the UC Davis community (ucdaivs). Ostensibly this was to ascertain the shadiness factor of CCC, but really we're just using jedi mind tricks to make you think thats our motive -- the true motive was to show that CCC would get a higher shadiness rating from the UC Davis lj community than from the readers of this livejournal (the postings were exactly identical).
   At this point, more than 18 hours after the polls began, and with 60 responses: the ucdavis community has rated Campus Crusade for Christ at a shadiness factor of 7.14, while the emosnail readership has rated it at 6.33. Clearly Emosnail does not foster antireligious mentalities.


Resistentialism
   The other day my browser (mozilla) inexplicably crashed and when it came back up, all my bookmarks had been lost. I find this very aggravating because I had quite a few things that I regularly used bookmarked. I miss the most-recent-pictures-updated-to-livejournal webpage that I haven't been able to find again. )=
   Last night apartment-mate wdsguy came home from LA, where he spends the week steeped in the adult entertainment industry (you think I'm kidding), and promptly unplugged my internet and went to bed -- presumably without actually realizing I needed it (we don't have a router because I live in a cave so only one of us can be connected at a time). So I spent the rest of the night in the computer lounge working on my paper. When I returned in the morning I was plugged in again but our internet was down, appeared to be a problem with our service-provider. When it finally came up trillian (my AIM client) crashed and burned horribly. When I was finally able to get it up again all my friends groups had been eliminated, so I now have 435 people all in one big group. I promptly created the missing groups and garnered a small amount of satisfaction sending some people to the gulag (my friends-list category of that name anyway). I believe resistentialism is taking root in my computer. Either that or its developing bovine spongeform encephalitis ("mad cow disease").


The Order of Trogdor
   EMOSNAIL is proud to present Daviswiki creator Philip Neustrom with our highest honour, the Order of Trogdor:

   Neustrom is seen here receiving the prestigious medal in the traditional ceremony. (with the medal on)
   Neustrom has exemplified the most admirable interests in promoting community understanding, combined with illustrious competence in creating the Daviswiki and making the wonder that it is today.
   Truly, if there is anyone who deserves to be on Davis Mount Rushmore, it is Phil (incidently I've never heard of four of the five people listed there).*

Weekly ASUCD Shadiness Rating
   We're overdue for the weekly ASUCD shadiness rating. Since last polling, ASUCD went ahead and passed unanimously the legislation preventing members of the ASUCD judiciary from authoring legislation, and Kalen Gallagher was replaced as President by Caliph Assagai and Darnell Holloway (but not before Gallagher characterized choice voting as a disease he would squash). Here's an Aggie article on the recent adventures of ASUCD.
[Poll #457889]

Daviswiki Entry of the Day: Magic Items of Davis


Shady Quote of the Day:
PrzemekP: true, but if it's possible, have him hold off, like I said, the worst possible for her would be her nominating herself
PrzemekP: haha, or better yet, if Fricke does it!
amazonjedimaster: you have enough pull with fricke
amazonjedimaster: have him do it
amazonjedimaster: have fricke nominate her first
PrzemekP: I'll see what I can do
PrzemekP: but there is a part of me that thinks Fricke might vote for Veronica
amazonjedimaster: because if you want the worst person to nominate .... fricke is that person
PrzemekP: true
amazonjedimaster: janet and i made it clear to centian people that we hate kris
amazonjedimaster: with a passion
amazonjedimaster: some of them are peons at berkely
PrzemekP: yeah, but like I said, a part of me feels Fricke might vote Veronica
amazonjedimaster: you think nomiating gena will change how he votes?


Year Ago Today: Ice Cream Sandwich Cravings - & rooommate Jill asks us sausage themed questions for her lover.

*if someone wants to use the above picture to make it look like Phil (& Amie) are on the real Mount Rushmore I think that would be ridiculously funny, and um, I'll buy you a twinkie.

   So its been like two weeks since I've had time to make a livejournal entry, this is surely some kind of terrible terrible record. And even now I don't have much time at all. So just a quick update here.

   MUNgate: recent developements on the MUN front: Under-Secretary-General Rinaldi resigned upon the discovery that former Secretary-General Myung and others were maliciously spreading rumours about her with intent to bring about her utter character assassination. Character assassination like the bombing of the UN HQ in baghdad -- if it had been done by the unfortunate mission director's best friends. While doing so Myung notes* that she must appear uninvolved so she can count the MUN ballots and congradulates co-conspirator Shemek on similarly avoiding suspicion while gaining the other ballot counting position. Go team!

   But to be fair, two current law students, former members of MUN, have come out in support of the current MUN administration. Read their perspective here. In addition to these weighty counter-arguments, Myung herself commented, and, possibly doing more damage to their cause than help, member and former SG Janet Rossi made an amusing comment. Rossi argues that the fact that $20 dinners have only about a fifth of the turnout of lower cost dinners may be not because the rest can't afford it, but because only those who are friends with the others on Secretariat go to the expensive dinners. Yes Janet, you might be right, that might have something to do with it, but I think that portrays it a lot worse than the simple "only those who can afford it" theory.


In Other News
   Yesterday the BBC called me to ask about a US Supreme Court case. True story. It was because I'm listed as a contact for the AGnostic & Atheist Student Assn (AGASA), and it was the 10 Commandments case.

   Currently one of my papers about Chechnya is being discussed at an international relations conference in Texas. I feel special.

Previously on Emosnail
   Two Years Ago Today: UCBMUNC '03 - and IHOP adventures. Missed the first day of Berkeley because I had work. Learned today actually that some people thought I forgot about UCBMUNC the first day. Yeah not so much, I'm the only one who actually spends the whole time in committee. Who was the only one of our 37 people to win an award this time? Yeah that would be me, and I don't forget about MUN conferences.


*source: an accidently intercepted AIM conversation. Seriously if you are planning on backstabbing someone, don't leave the conversation up on a computer they use. Excerpt about the fraudulent election aspirations:
amazonjedimaster: no
amazonjedimaster: then i might be tainted
amazonjedimaster: for the election-ness
PrzemekP: yeah, well, I worked on her and Priya on the way over
amazonjedimaster: so far there is not a peep from gena about getting you on the elections -vote counting-ness

   The Model United Nations club at UC Davis (MUN) recently received $750 from Club Finance Council (CFC) to partially subsidize the upcoming UC Berkeley MUN Conference (UCBMUNC '05). In order to qualify for this money, MUN officers had to convince SPAC that they needed the money.

   During this conference, the MUN officers have planned a "team dinner" whereupon the 37 participants from Davis will eat at a $40 per person restaurant, and it will be subsidized by MUN club money down to $20 a plate (a $740 total subsidation).
   Club officers emphasize that this money is not the CFC money. I stated that the argument that there is no relationship between the two sources of money is the kind of financial knavery I'd expect to only hear only during an ASUCD Senate meeting.

[Poll #438856]

   When it was discussed at the meeting I grilled the officers but they were recalcitrant on the subject. Shortly thereafter we were served up the topic of "sovreignty" to practice debating. After numerous people loudly grumbled that it was a boring topic, I suggested that maybe we practice debating by using the "Team Dinner" as a topic. Secretary General Myung pointedly ignored the suggestion. I found it quite distinctly shady.

   In addition to it being in all likelihood grave misuse of CFC funds (in that we obviously didn't need the CFC money), I object to this because the dinner is STILL way out of my price range.
   I have an appointment with the Club Finance Council Program Director tomorrow morning at 9am, at which point I shall probably file a formal complaint and the SPAC people will contact the MUN officers to establish a hearing.