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   I discovered the megabloggist community that does 30 in 30 by freak chance, as I explained in an earlier 30 in 30 post. Since then I've grown to become friends with a number of people from that group, spread out across the other side of the United States (& Israel). Only recently did it occur to me that just as this community of people with similar blogging styles was out there in the blogosphere and only found by chance, there surely must be other isolated communities of bloggists similar to these waiting to be found! To find and them and unite the groups would be a great event in the history of the blogosphere! And so I commenced BlogSETI.
   And so E.M.O._.S.N.A.L. personnel set about erecting huge satellite dishes and dispatching probe droids to the distant reaches of the blogosphere!
   (actually I did this a bit ago, so some of the results my no longer be active)

THE RESULTS )

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   So I've seen a few movies lately. And I had opinions on them! I will try to offer you a short review o the ones I can remember:

The Kingdom - Some terrorists kill some Americans in Saudi Arabia, so an American FBI team travels there and apparently teaches everyone how to do everything and solves like, every crime. In the end of course the FBI team saves the day and the only good guy to die is of course the Saudi guy helping them. Total cheeseball "America is Awesome" movie. I give it a D-

Rendition - The same evening we watched The Kingdom, Kerri and I watched Rendition. It was an excellent pairing of movies because while The Kingdom is over-the-top jingoism, Rendition goes the opposite way and is all preachy about how we shouldn't torture people. While the theme was much better, the movie was kind of dumb. The renditioned guy was of course totally innocent, the torturers didn't actually care if they got any information, no one cared, the good guy intervened in the end and set the guy free and... it just wraps up so nicely. Basically it was cheesily predictable and annoying preachy. C-

The Last King of Scotland - The rather psychotic rule of Ugandan dictator Idi Amin as seen from the perspective of a young (fictional) doctor whom Amin takes in as his personal physician. Interesting. B

Darjeeling Limited - Starring Those-People-Who-Were-in-The-Royal-Tenenbaums, its about three rather estranged brothers who apparently have gotten back together to ride a train ("The Darjeeling Limited" - Whats the "limited" part of the name signify?) across India as a bonding experience. Its a well-made and pleasant little movie. B

No Man's Land - A Serb and an Albanian both end up pinned down together between the respective sides' trenches. The UN, currently monitoring a cease fire, becomes involved to try to resolve the situation ("Oh here come the smurfs!" best line ever!) but is bogged down in bureaucracy. I really liked the movie -- the situation of people from two sides come face to face with the human side of war in the very middle of the warzone I find very neat. I actually really rather like war movies. Not for the explosions and shooting but for the way they test characters to the limit and, if a good movie, really explore how people react to extraordinary circumstances. I must say though, for a "war movie" No Man's Land is a bit slow. A-

Wristcutters: A Love Story - After being dumped by his girlfriend the main character, Zia, commits suicide by slitting his wrists. Only to find that offing oneself merely brings oneself to a place (purgatory?) where life is pretty much the same but a little worse. Everything just kinda sucks, and you physically can't smile apparently. Then Zia finds out his ex has killed herself and goes off in search of her. Adventures ensue. Great music by the great band Gogol Bordello. I quite liked the movie. A-

Idiocracy - Stupid people are breeding at a faster rate than smart people! The military decides to experiment with cryogenically freezing people, so they take their most average soldier and freeze him for a year. Also with him they freeze a local hooker, apparently because they couldn't get any other volunteers. However, the project is forgotten about, the base demolished, and the cryofreeze capsules don't come to the surface and reactivate their occupants until "The Great Garbage Avalanche of 2505." There they find a world populated by thoroughly stupid people. Hilarity ensues! A

Stranger Than Fiction - Harold Crick's life is pretty much totally boring and routine, but then [/\/warning mini-spoiler up ahead! BUT it occurs within the first five minutes of the movie and is pretty much the foundation of the movie so if you're curious about what the movie is about you may want to hear it and it still won't ruin the rest I promise. Anyway you've been warned so skip the rest of this paragraph (or at least the next sentence) if you don't want to read it\/\] he starts to hear the narrators monologue of the movie and suddenly catches on that he's in a story! Hilarity ensues! I actually really don't like Will Farrel's slapsticky antics in other movies, but he's actually pretty serious in this movie and the tone is just.. perfect. Seriously you should see this movie I love it. A+

Year Ago Today / Picture of the Day


Saucy antics in Davis

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   When [livejournal.com profile] revchad came by my place in Davis (2, 3 years ago?) to consider moving into the spare room he took the opportunity to examine my bookshelf, with the comment that "you can tell a lot about a person by what they have on their bookshelf." Well he didn't end up moving in, so I guess my bookshelf didn't pass the test. (=

   But on that note, I'm going to share my bookshelf with you!


Top Shelf
List of Books )


Third Shelf
List of Books )


Bottom Shelf
List of Books )

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Hands --And Logic-- -Free Legislation
   Starting on this July 1st (ie tomorrow), California has enacted a new law that you can only talk on your cell phone while driving if its "hands-free."

   Ostensibly this is due to the mountain of evidence that people suck at driving while talking on the phone. In fact I think several studies have shown people drive worse on phones than they do while totally drunk.

   HOWEVER, it should be noted that people's problems with driving while talking on the phone stem from being distracted by the conversation, NOT from holding the phone. People seem to have no problem driving while holding a (non-alcoholic) beverage, making hand-signals involving their middle finger, operating their gear-shift, or just plain driving with one hand for no particular reason.

   THEREFORE, I would like to point out that there is no actual corrolation between the new law and its alleged purpose.

   Not that I think they have a devious secret purpose, I think they're just being dumb. Well maybe some politicians are trying to claim they're "tough on safety." Maybe the hands-free device lobby is behind it all.

   It just blows my mind really, that NONE of the news articles I've read about the story have touched upon this discrepency between cause and effect.


Picture of the Day / Year Ago Today


Epic Roadtrip 2007: Day 14 - in Davis, CA



   Also, if you'll bear with me, I'll hopefully be posting four more entries today to reach 30 (but I'll try to space them out as much as possible). After that I'll probably return to previous levels of posting once every several days. Also though, as a special treat, for the 30th entry of the month I'll actually post about this livejournal: what or who it is, why it has friended you, etc!

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Three Exciting Games
   You may recall earlier I made a post about a strategy game that should exist. Well now I bring you three game ideas -- two computer games and one fun and exciting game YOU can play TODAY in REAL LIFE! =D

3. Sim Cave-man - I think a game that simulated the trials and tribulations of a caveman would actually be quite interesting. And by caveman I mean the very earliest homo sapiens who were hunter gatherers and (I imagine) wandered about in small family groups having adventures (and yes, sometimes living in caves). Hunt for food! Defend your family against wild animals and unfriendly other cavemen! Attack innocent other cavemen and steal their women! Make cave paintings! I think it could be fun both on a timescale of a single caveman's life, or perhaps if you follow one group of people from a travelling family unit to a band and a tribe, watch them discover the wheel, pottery, bow and arrow, compete with rival groups for food and form the nucleus of a nation. Perhaps a sequel could be in the works to continue your fledgling nation into the iron age...

2. Wildfire! - So while I was working on bees up in Riverside county the other day a brushfire began a few miles away across the valley. Within five minutes aircraft were bombing it with water and they had it out in about 20 minutes. But it got me thinking. It requires a lot of logistics and planning to effectively fight these wildfires that occasionally ravage California. It could be a benevolent alternative to wargames for the more pacifist minded -- coordinate firefighting assets to fight brushfire scenarios with a minimum loss of life and property!

...and now, what you've been waiting for, the fun and exciting game you can play yourself, asap, for free, in the real world! It involved danger, adrenaline, exercise, and communing with nature! It is...
1. Avoid Getting Stung By Bees!! - I thought of this genius game the other day at work while I was ... trying to avoid getting stung by bees. You see, Dave and I found we only had one working veil, and I decided I'd rather brave the bees than the 100+ degree heat in a beesuit, so I was dodging bees in just long pants and a t-shirt. There's two forms of the game really:
   A. Matador Mode - Less effective but more fun (if you accept the fact you are likely to be stung). Face off against the bee mano-e-mano (sp?!). Just you, the bee, and something to swipe at it with. In my case it was the long-sleeved shirt I wasn't wearing. As it swoops at you, you swing at it. You miss of course and try to wind up and get a bead on the bee again before it has a chance to nail you between the eyes.
Yes I did this for a short time for my own amusement. And let the record state that I wasn't tormenting an innocent bee - it was already trying to sting me, it was me or her.
   B. Strictly Business Mode - Okay, so you have decided you don't really want to get stung. You can bat wildly at your head, but you'll like like a total fool. Normally I just walk at a normal pace into the wind if a bee takes a particular interest to me and it shortly gives up. However, today they were too plentiful, pervasive and persistent for me to use that technique. So instead I would simply stand facing upwind (they'll usually try to attack you from downwind for whatever reason) until the bee(s) in question had landed in my hair. Then, with one firm wack, I would slap my (gloved) hand upon my head and the buzzing would abruptly stop, followed by a faint plop of the dead bee(s) falling onto the ground. I recommend wearing gloves or using a shirt or towel or something so as to avoid getting stung on the hand. They are unlikely to sting your head through your hair unless you're like, bald or something.
   C. Really Don't Want To Get Stung Mode - Run. In a straight line. Upwind. Do not bother to bat at the bees wildly, you will not kill them and will possibly make them more certain you are some kind of wild animal that must be driven away. Do not jump in a pool they will simply wait for you to come up for air, like ninjas. But I mean, this is like playing Avoid Getting Stung By Bees (TM) on the easiest setting, its no fun at all (though maybe good exercise?).

Next Time: A (well researched) report on where beestings hurt the most?


Picture of the Day / Year Ago Today


Epic Roadtrip 2007: Day 13
- From Yellowstone Wyoming through Idaho and Nevada to Davis, California

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8 and a Half Webcomics!!!
   Anyway, today, after extensive research, I bring you the definitive top 10 8 webcomics

N. Questionable Content - I actually kind of hate this webcomic, but after I read all the other ones I'm often bored and wander over to it. It makes me cringe though. I hate the way the author writes about his characters as if he doesn't know what they're thinking or going to do and is suprised himself. I hate the way the characters' eyes (particularly the main character) are vaguely reminiscent of anime. I hate the way daily installments often just culminate in a really lame one liner. I hate the pretentious indie rock pretentiousness that prevades the whole thing. Yet, when I've read all the other webcomics, I still read it out of morbid curiousity as to how much its going to fill me with loathing. d=

8. Diesel Sweeties - Robots, romance, robot-romance, and pixelation! Dependably never a groaner and amazing the expressiveness that can be made just by changing a few pixels around.

7. Ask Dr Eldritch - I still don't know how the author makes this thing but its excellent. Its about.. a girl moves into a mansion that has random portals to other dimensions through which all sorts of (silly) supernatural things from other dimensions routinely come. Also living there is a troll, a robot and a supernatural advice columnist. Hilarity ensues.

6. Scary Go Round - Silliness and sass from the fictional town of Tackleford, England!

5. Dr McNinja - He's a doctor, and he's a ninja, and apparently he's Irish, and he has the most off-the-wall adventures you can imagine. I just wish the navigation on his website was better.

4. Wigu - A young boy named Wigu, his gothic sister, his kind-of-redneckish dad, and his alcoholic mom. Plus Topato the potatoe made from poison from Butter Dimension Cubed and his partner Sheriff Pony. Site navigation is also a bit off but its quite hilarious!

3. Dresden Codak - Beautifully drawn and intellectual, just wish it updated more frequently.

2. Gunnerkrigg Court - Also beautifully drawn, and with neat storyline. About a girl who goes to a boarding school full of robots and supernatural beings and such.

1. Sluggy Freelance - How the author thinks up the brilliant story arcs is beyond me. They're all brilliant and they all link together seamlessly and incorporate developments from earlier developments such that you wonder if he plans it all out a full year ahead of time or something.


Picture of the Day / Year Ago Today Yesterday


Epic Roadtrip 2007 - Day 12: Yellowstone Day 2
(Actually the above picture is from Grand Teton National Park, which adjoins Yellowstone to the south)

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   [livejournal.com profile] tonytornado2003 has issued a challenge that translates to "Write an entry that has a rant involving what you hate about 1 certain type of myspace photo" for me (and [livejournal.com profile] xaositecte).

   And of course, the topic of bad myspace photos is a well documented phenomenon and I'll point to the professional analysis of such here. But the existence of such documentation only makes it harder to come up with a rant! But I will prevail!

   It brings to mind a peculiar and relatively undocumented phenomena of girls not tagging or even untagging themselves in pictures on facebook. This procedure is understandable when applied to only your worst photos or those photos of you making out with someone regrettable at the local pub, but some girls I've noticed apply the untaggery to the extreme.
   I asked a girl about this once and she responded "it wasn't till recently that i would tag myself in my own pictures... i thought it made one pretentious." Well, I disagree. What is pretentious is that this same girl has posted about a million pictures of herself. Whether or not she tags herself in them only disguises the self-absorbtion which is already abundant.
   And on the subject of self-absorbtion, I would like to note that the most egotistic comment I've ever seen is when an associate of mine in her (LJ) bio put merely "I don't like to brag." Meaning.. you couldn't think of a single thing to say about yourself that wasn't about how mindblowingly awesome you are?! I think that simple statement conveyed heavier egomania than an entire essay about herself would have.

   Also, [livejournal.com profile] tonytornado2003's own post on the topic reminds me of something else that gets me riled up with loathing. Occasionally on the radio on the way home I'd hear commercials for a dating site for girls that caters specifically to girls who ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND and want to cheat. I think the existence of this is absolutely dispicable. Like. Seriously. The commercials fill me with rage. I can remember the the name of it actually but I refuse to give them any advertizing by repeating it (even though I know none of you would utilize it).

   So yeah. Thats my rant. (=


Picture of the Day / Year Ago Today Yesterday


Day 11: Yellowstone!

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   Today I bring you the top ten most awesome pets of US Presidents! (This is not a complete list of presidential pets or of all the pets of the named presidents, just the awesome ones!)

10 Calvin Coolidge: An antelope?!

9 Jimmy Carter: A siamese cat named "Misty Malarky Ying Yang"

8 George W Bush: A Longhorned Cow named "Ofelia"

7 Abraham Lincoln: Actually had a dog named "Fido"

6 Theodore Roosevelt: A one legged rooster. Also a badger among other things.

5 John Adams: Dog named "Satan"

4 James Garfield: Dog named "Veto"

3 George Washington: Dogs named "Sweet Lips" (!?) "Drunkard," and "Tipsy"

2 McKinley: Parrot named "Washington Post"

and the winner...

1 Benjamin Harrison (there was such a president?!): two possums named "Mr Reciprocity" and "Mr Protection".


(Hey possums are currently winning in the poll on what I should blog about (= )

Complete list here. So many early presidents had things like alligators, donkeys and roosters I didn't incldue them in my list!
   Recall also that I had mentioned that Socks the famous Clinton cat has been discarded by the Clintons ... because they're insenstive monsters!!




Picture of the Day


My pet chicken.

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      Today for 30 in 30 I am going to post my top ten thirteen youtube videos.

13. Everyday Normal Guy (song) (warning: much profanity)
12. Nerdfighter Happy Dance (Russian ska music!!)
11. Food Fight
10. The Mean Kitty Song
9. Cubicle Wars
8. Talking Deer
7. Linkin Park Parody
6. Mainstream Media Commercial
5. Homeless James Bond "Ah its a stabbing device ... with a twist!"
4. Powerthirst I "Prepare to be UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC!"
3. Powerthirst II "Win at everything, football, running, arson ... weddings!"
2. Sunday Afternoon
1. Automated Phone Sex

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   I meant to read The Zombie Survival Guide before writing this entry, but I never got around to it. As such, this treatise will not benefit from the wisdom of that book (which I heard somewhere is pretty good). On the other hand, I can therefore say that everything contained herein is my original zombie survival thoughts.

   Anyway, as they say, "zombies are so hot right now." Last year it was pirates, now the hot ticket is zombies. Next year, maybe it'll be zombie-pirates, or something.
   One of my least favourite things is people acting like blooming idiots in movies. The primary reason I can't stand most horror movies is because I simply cannot stand the level of idiocy usually displayed by the protagonists. Zombie movies are no exception, what with people wandering alone into dark places, getting themselves cornered, etc etc. Here are my thoughts on how to survive.
   For the purposes of this entry, let us assume zombies tend to be fast like in 28 Days Later rather than the classic slow hulking.

When the Zombies Come
   Living humans have one major practical advantage over zombies: ability to intelligently use their their limbs. Use this to your advantage.
   Most obviously, this enables living humans to wield weapons. This fact almost never goes unnoticed. But it can also be used to manipulate one's environment.
   For example, can a zombie operate a doorknob? In 28 Days Later they seem to get around effectively enough that it would seem they can (vis-a-vis running around facilities that have metal doors which would be hard to break down), though this is never shown. They can certainly break down wooden doors, but what about a metal door with a simple doorknob? On any account, they certainly would not be able to get through a door operated by a keypad or a heavy locked door.
   In many zombie related scenarios, they are indeed thwarted by locked front doors, but inevitably break through windows, whether they are boarded up or not. What else can zombies not do without intelligent limb use though? They cannot climb ladders.
   If you can find an attic which can only be accessed by a ladder, you should be zombie safe. Additionally, tree houses should be suprisingly safe. In a pinch in fact, any tree or climbable telephone pole or such should be sufficient.
   And of course, there have been countless zombie related events where characters run and hide in dark places when a perfectly climbable tree or such was close at hand.

   With a lot of ground-level windows and a lack of internal doors and such, residential houses seem to be a zombie death trap, yet they are the perennial first line of defense in depictions. Others have recommended hiding in the woods. While this makes it less likely you'll run into zombies, it doesn't really make you terribly much safer if some do find you.
   At least in Ireland, and elsewhere in the Old World, there are abundant structures that are absolutely optimum for zombie survival. Places that have specifically been designed to be impregnable to zombie-style attacks. In Ireland, you are absolutely guaranteed to be with a days walk of a medieval tower or castle. Despite several hundred years of disuse, most of these are still sturdy to a height of several floors. Many towers do not even have a first floor entrance -- entrance was gained on the second floor via a ladder which could be pulled up to thwart the zombies enemy raiders. Find a ladder and be 100% zombie proof as long as you have food and the zombies don't develop advanced siege engines.
   Additionally, even the castles with first floor entrances frequently have sturdy metal gates placed in the entrance by the Office of Public Works to prevent people from going in and getting themselves killed (I could usually find a second or third floor window to clamber up through though). Break lock, replace with one of your own, and you're pretty good.
   Now of course, I'm pretty sure not one of you is in Ireland, and only a very very few are somewhere else where one might find castles. I just had to go on that tangent though because I thought it was rather novel that in the coming zombiepocalyse castles will be so useful.
   Lacking castles, I would recommend investing in a ladder (a rope ladder might be better since it'd be easier to pull up behind you), find a warehouse (they usually have few windows and doors), pile an ungodly amount of stuff in front of what ground level doors there are, break roof access lock, and call it your little castle.
   Basically I think a ladder is the single most important peice of zombie survival equipment. Zombies catch you wandering down the street with one, quickly prop it agianst a building and escape. Pull the ladder up with you and by the time the zombies reach your floor you can ladder your way down another side or make a bridge to the top of another building or something.

   Also note that since zombies can neither swim nor operate a boat, people out at sea on boats, small islands, or oil rigs, should be totally fine so long as their food holds out (learn to fish!)

   You will want protective clothing. At the most basic, you'll want long sleeves and pants, gloves, (and to protect against infected blood spray) goggles, and some kind of makeshift bandana or such to cover your mouth. You should be within walking distance of a firestation. Fireman gear will give you extremely good protection against zombie attacks, though it may be a little combersome for those not in good shape. Additionally, if you steal the firetruck, firehose is probably a great way to clear a crowd of zombies. For that matter, many firehouses have towers for such purposes as drying their hoses or practicing fighting fire, which may be only ladder-accessable and therefore a good zombie proof perch.
   The very most optimum zombie survival outfit would probably be riot police gear (as illustrated in 28 Days Later). Be sure to stop by your local police station to see if they have such equipment.
   If you're going for that medieval theme and there's a museum near you or something, a suit of armour should be pretty good too, though ultra heavy. Plate-mail is overkill, don some chain mail, pick up a longsword and shield, and practice your zombie killing battle cry.


When You Know the Zombies Are Coming
   In 28 Weeks Later, the government was presumably taking extensive precautions for a second zombie outbreak. It turns out this really just consisted of totally panicking and acting like idiots. It really got me thinking about what they should have done.
   It should have been fairly easy to zombie proof things as well. In the rebuilt parts of town, put heavy doors on every building and within the buildings. Make it so these are all opened by keypad -- you can make every code in the city "123456," it doesn't matter because there are no reports of zombies ever coming near the capability to intelligently enter such information. Secondly, the way buildings already have fire supplies about where you "break glass in case of fire" to access firehoses and extinguishers and such, place zombie survival gear in such a way. Specifically, make sure bite/scratch proof clothing is readily available for everyone.
   This alone should solve your problem. For extra safety maybe make it so you can easily cordone off small sections of the city to prevent outbreak spread.

   This of course doesn't look like the makings of a good movie, since if the government did this there'd be no outbreak and it would be quite anticlimatic. I think you could still make a movie however if you made the downfall of society come from human failings rather that blatant large-scale stupidity. Remember FEMA's poor response to Hurricane Katrina? You could make a point about that, where someone skimped on money or hired their friend who was just a horse-breeder to institute the disaster preparedness plans, and consequently the whole thing got botched up. Now, not only do you have people not acting implausibly dumb, you're actually making a point.

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Top Ten Ways To Know You Livejournal Too Much

10. You remember the names of people you meet, for the sole purpose of referring to them later in your lj.
09. Livejournal is your primary method of communication with your friends andt he world.
08. People in real life frequently refer to you by your lj name
07. You meet strangers who know what you did last Tuesday, and have their own opinions about it.
06. Your girlfriend accuses you of loving livejournal more than her
05. You develop intricate theories about livejournaling
04. During events you find yourself thinking "I can't wait to write about this!"
03. During events you plot HOW you're going to write about them later.
02. Writing in livejournal actually takes the place of going out and doing things.
01. You find yourself obligated to make an unreasonable amount of posts because in a moment of weakness yourself and other wayward livejournalers vowed to do so.
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the rating tribunal at work

   There are literally tens of thousands of official livejournal communities. About ninety percent of these are probably "ratings communities" -- communities where one must submit an application and subject themselves to the ratings and harsh criticism of existing members before being accepted (or rejected) to become one of these members ... for the sole purpose of doing it to others.
   I got this idea about a year ago -- what if one creates a community where one rates communities. That will give one a chance to tell all the lame ones what-for!
   And the "business model" makes sense -- many of the ratings communities have a requirement that applicants promote them in another community, so if one were to name-drop this one in another promo community (yeah there are communities dedicated to promotion of communities), people will flock to it to promo their own by being rated.
   And so [livejournal.com profile] ratecommunities was born. The picture above is of our expert tribunal in session.

   12 communities have been rated so far:

Let the judgement begin! )



   If anyone else would like to get involved in this brilliant project we currently need some more judges.

   New project coming soon!

Picture of the Day / Year Ago Today

Epic Roadtrip 2007: Day 2
- We temporarily fill the "Cornucopia Van" with friends we caught up with at Vegas!
This day we nearly died in the desert; bought gratuitous amounts of energy drinks; frolicked in Vegas for a few hours but then continued on our way; drove across the Hoover Dam and on into the night (right through Flagstaff, incidently, but thats the next day by then)

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Discussion Topics of the Day
   Please respond to as many of the following as possible, and then try to convince other commenters that you are far more correct than they are.
   Topic 1: How would the world be today if Vladimir Lenin had embraced a regime of bolshevik emo-ism rather than communism (assuming he could somehow have been familiar with Bright Eyes and Postal Service). Would there have been a different logo other than the hammer & sickle? Would he have preferred Dashboard or something better like Promise Ring (or name an emo band of your choice)?
   Topic 2: Which american music group could you most easily picture Saddam Hussain being a part of?
   Topic 3: If one of the following were to grow an awesome mohawk, who would be more likely to do so? (A) George W Bush, (B) George Bush senior, (C) Condoleeza Rice, (D) John Ashcroft, (E) Donald Rumsfeld.
   Topic 4: Who would have kept a more interesting livejournal? (A) Ivan IV (the terrible), (B) Taliban leader Mullah Omar (did they ever catch that dude?), (C) Stalin, (D) Mousolinni (sp?), (E) Ghengis Khan, (F) Attila the Hun.

   Also related to Topic 4, an excellent example of what one of these world leaders' livejournals might be like is that of North Korea (DPRK)'s [livejournal.com profile] kim_jong_il__.

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   Today I bring you... several brilliant ideas I have for new television series!

7. "Evil Star Trek" - Obviously not under that name but that captures the concept best of any short phrase I could think of.
   As you know Captain Jean-Luc Picard has always been sickeningly politically correct and good, causing Patrick Stewart to play predominantly evil characters ever since. Now wouldn't the series be much more exciting if the Federation officers behaved much more like, say, the Empire from Star Wars?
   "Captain, the fugitives we are looking for may be stowed-away on that passenger transport among the orphans its currently carrying"
   "Fire photon torpedoes!!"
   "Con! Sonar! Crazy Ivan!"


6. The Smurfs go to College - and become raging alcoholics!! Smurfette joins a sorority. To keep it up with the times we also introduce Emo Smurf, Rudie Smurf, Punk Rock Smurf, Addicted-to-Livejournal Smurf, Slut Smurf... Gargamel continues to attempt to break up their parties and slap them with noise ordinance violations, as well as to catch the under-age Jail-Bate Smurf binge drinking...

5. Mystery Livejournal Theatre 3000 - watch two robots heap ridicule and derision upon badly written livejournals. Or maybe Strong Bad should host it, he has of course pioneered the art of making hilarious commentary on people's writing.

4. Americas Next Top Normal Person - a group of random (yet mostly normal) strangers are compelled to live together and interact in a tense environment, for some reason, and ::gasp:: who ever handles everything with the most well-adjusted social skills is rewarded!

3. Host Idol - Aside from all the drama thats fostered among the contestants of most reality shows, I also feel like most of the hosts / judge panels get seriously egomaniacal through their overenjoyment of the power of being the "host" (though I get the impression that Tyra Banks was always like that, via hilarious clips of her talk show that are echoed elsewhere for the hilarious egomania content). What I want to see is all the smarmy judges / hosts from everything from American Idol to "Flavour of Love: Charm School" (and especially Tyra and her cohorts) and have THEM compete with eachother and be subject to eliminations. They would have to compete at normal things your average person might have to deal with. Additionally, there will definitely be scrutiny of their qualifications as judges, where they will be judged by professional review-writers, judges, and other persons qualified in the area of evaluating and judging people.

2. Supervillian Intern - A comedy about an entry-level intern working in the organization of a James Bond-esque evil villian. Activities will involve photocopying, office gossip, avoiding being killed by the good Secret Agent, calling around to find a contract killer to take care of some "former" employees (who have been seduced by the Secret Agent?), feeding the killer mutant sea bass, etc.

1. When the Zombies Come - Zombie movies are so popular, and yet, as far as I am aware, no one has ever made a TV series about surviving the zombie onslaught. Wtf, this is gold. You could go on forever as the cast tries to survive post zombie-apocalypse.

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   Many many movies, books, and television series have addressed the idea of what happens if aliens arrive at Earth. Usually the aliens want to kill us all, but sometimes they just want to probe a few people and draw pictures in their fields. But what happens if the aliens are friendly and helpful?

   What if the aliens take pity on us with our populations of impoverished and hungry? Using their alien technology they generously offer to sell anyone anything they need at a price they can afford. Benevolent? Yes. But a disaster for the world economy!! Thousands would become unemployed! We'd immediately begin to run a huge trade deficit with the aliens!

Starbucks is secretly run by Klingons to make us dependant on them

   Our governments would probably try to intervene - either with tariffs on space imports or outright embargoes (or militant force?). Even so, our economy would still be mangled as we'd lose our export market due to other countries getting things more cheaply from space. And what if the aliens, use military force to compel us not to interfere with them providing us an economy of plenty?

   And would it even be ethical for the government to try to limit the aliens from providing us with everything? As thousands lose their jobs, yet cost of living becomes negligible, what would happen?

   I think this is a really intriguing question.

aggienaut: (Default)

   I missed posting yesterday due to being in transit and then arriving in Flagstaff, Arizona, and not being near a computer. Presently, however, the friend I'm visiting is at work so I'm nerding away. Not sure I'll be able to update tomorrow and the next day but I'll catch up eventually. Anyway:


   I give you the Prime Minister of the Ukraine:


AKA PRINCESS LEIA!!!



   Thats right, the princess herself has come to Earth and is masquerading as one "Yulia Tymoshenko," and in this capacity is rising to power in Ukraine (to advance her devious Alderaanian agenda?).


   Also, you should read (or at least skim through like I did) this pretty funny post alleging the princess has a secret goth agenda.


(Left: Totally steampunk! Centre: LOL Ukraine!! Right: Jedi mind tricks!!!)

More Tymoshenko stylings

aggienaut: (Default)

   I've always been a huge fan of strategy games. I've been a player of Dune II, Red Alert II, Warcraft II, Age of Empire II, Civ II & III, Starcraft, and possibly others.
   Originally, opposing sides had either units that were more or less exactly the same, or at least units that looked different but were functionally identical. Then the makers decided to change it up, make the strategy a little asymmetrical and give the various sides different sorts of units. Starcraft even made the means of production slightly different. One very major aspect has always been the same though: the economics.
   Invariably, one must harvest something in order to produce your tanks. It is odd to me that this should be the unexceptional rule, since throughout history only Columbian narcoterrorists have really had such a direct corrolation between production and military output. Normally, the military strategists have a set budget. Yes they have to fight fluctuations of it in Congress, but dear god don't make THAT part of the game. Not only is it unrealistic, I find it incredibly annoying, as keeping an eye on my workers and balancing production between economic capital and military units is not what I play strategy games to do.
   In addition your vehicles will have a build cost but no maintenance cost. This allows one to simply continue to build up bigger and bigger armies over time. This is also very unrealistic, as the limit to military build-up on a strategic scale has always been available support budget, not build time. For example, I would imagine the "cost" of an infantryman is somewhere near half the yearly cost to maintain him anyway, or such (since what you're paying for is primarily just paying him during training). So you see, this is not only unrealistic, but also effects the strategic interplay of the game.


   I think it would be interesting to make a strategy game that not only breaks from the standard harvest-based economics, but has the various factions work on different economic models. Here is what I thought up:
Democracy: The military forces of a democracy will have a set budget. However, for every person they lose (counting both infantry units and members of vehicle crews), they lose some of their budget (as popular support for the war goes down). Consequently the Democracy forces will want to emphasize stand-off attack weapons and expensive technology that will minimize losses.
Communism: Communist forces will have a set budget. It doesn't matter how good you do, the budget comes from those who produce in accordance with ability, to those who need in accordance with need. In fact, your budget might even go DOWN if you're doing well in the scenario. Purchase of additional units, however, isn't done by paying a set price, but rather requesting the units from central command, whom will decide whether or not you really need the unit, and send it to you with substantial delay. (= Units are cheap, however, and maintenance costs, especially personnel pay, is low. Available units are quite technologically advanced for their costs.
Local Warlord Kleptocracy: Budget depends on holding on to certain key stratego-economic points. Also, likely funded by a Democratic or Communist force by proxy (this money will probably just be a set amount). Kleptocratic forces will probably use cheap out-of-date predecessors of Democratic/Communist units, and technicals, and such.
Insurgents: My main thought with insurgents is that whereas other factions will have structures and vehicles, as is usual in strategy games, the insurgents will have primarily only personnel units. For example more units will be recruited by a "recruiter" individual, whereas for most other forces they'd come from barracks and such. There will be some buildings however, such as weapons caches and bomb factories. The basic idea is that most insurgent units will only be detectable up close so they'll be hard to find. I'm not sure how they'll be funded. I'm thinking they'll get a certain bounty for killing enemy forces, and perhaps budget increases when the enemy accidently kills civilians. ...and maybe a small permanent budget to tide them over - this is the money Iran is giving them ;)
Narco-Terrorists: Think FARC-EP. They'll be the only ones to work like most stategy games -- budget will come directly from operating and harvesting hidden drug fields and labs.
Mercenaries: The Mercenaries work for whomever and are entirely funded via bounties on destroyinig enemy units.

   And of course, as I noted above, maintenance costs should be such that the size of your forces is limited by the budget, and can't grow ad infinitem until you can zerg rush your enemies with mammoth tanks. You'll have to actually utilize tactics and strategy to destroy your enemy!



   So there you are. I think someone should make this game.

aggienaut: (Default)

[livejournal.com profile] hereticxxii issued me the following challenge:

   "Completely fabericate your own original religion (ie Justifarianism, Harry Potter fandom) and detail it in your blog. Within 5 days get 5 converts to this new religion to announce thier faith in comment section of your post."
   

Allow me to introduce you to Blogtheism -- the religion of The Dread God Blogdor.

   Blogdor believes that the undocumented life is an unlived life.
   Blogdor has been with us since ancient times. It was Blogdor who inspired cavemen to "blog" cave paintings on walls.
   Blogdor is NOT a jealous god -- he is actually quite secure in his omnipotence and okay with you continuing to also believe in his friend the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or say Cthulhu or even that zombie guy.
   It pleases Blogdor when people participate in 30 in 30. 30 in 30 is a sacred event of Blogtheism.
   It pleases Blogdor to be referred to as "The Dread God Blogdor," although he is not in fact actually very dreadful.
   Because all religions need arbitrary rules about what you can eat, Blogdor declareth that thou shallt not eat moldy sandwiches or motor oil. Additionally Blogdor commandeth that thou shallt not eat anything thou findeth repungnant. If someone tries to feed you something which you find odious you are to inform them it is against your religion.
   Waking up early on Sunday mornings will also be against your religion ... unless you want to.
   To officially join the religion of Blogtheism, Blogdor ordains that you are to merely comment to this entry!


Classic 30 in 30 Entry of the Day
   The Ten Blogmandments -[livejournal.com profile] apoplecticfittz. ("#4 - Honor thy father and thy mother for they shall find, and read, your blog" ... such wisdom!)

(comment)

aggienaut: (Default)

   The other day I could not for the life a me find Rockstar and had to subject myself to some obscure energy drink called "Ludicrous."
   And this brings up the question I know is on all your minds, whats with all these energy drinks? Whats the difference? How do I know which one is right for me?
   As a benevolent service to you my readers, I embarked upon an epic quest to sample and review every energy drink I could get my grimy little hands on. I found 13 different types of energy drinks and tried them all. I then spent three hours hallucinating, followed by three hours with too little attention span to do anything but twitch, followed by 48 hours of restlessness. The things I do for you, the readers!!
   Among other things I learned in this adventure, is that the FDA does not recommend you consume more than 500 millegrams of caffiene per day, or three of those 16 oz ("two servings") energy drinks. Also among the vitamins advertised on most energy drinks is taurine. Taurine is believed to aid in digestion among other things, is an essential vitamin for cats, and is found in human milk (but not cows milk). It is called "taurine" because it was discovered in ox bile. As such, the amount of taurine in a drink can be said to be the measure of bullshit involved.

meet the crew


Major Brands - those most commonly available
Red Bull - Usually at $1.99 for 8oz, Red Bull weighs in at roughly twice the price of most other energy drinks, for as far as I can tell about equitable ingredients and taste. As such the even remotely financially conscious should avoid this bougousie beverage like the plague. By “Red Bull gives you wings” they really mean “here at Red Bull we’re giving you the bird.” (80mg of caffiene per 8oz)
Original Red Bull - see this entry for discussion of the original red bull which may have started it all.
Rockstar - man I just had a Rockstar again after having consumed only other energy drinks for awhile in the interest of this research, and man, I think I’m going to have to readjust some of the other descriptions now, I’d forgotten the divine goodness that is rockstar. (150mg of caffiene per 16oz)
Lost - the energy drink for persons that are professions other than rockstars – for example my erstwhile roommate Chen, an aspiring adult entertainment star, swears by Lost. It costs the same as Rockstar, is slightly harder to find, and tastes perhaps just a skoshe more intense.
Power Horse - tastes like Rockstar et al, only a little less sweet I think. (151.36mg caffiene / 16oz) (created by Hansens)
Monster - Much more flavoursome than Rockstar. At first I liked it but then after having a number of them (they were on sale 25% at Safeway) decided the flavoursomeness was getting old and Rockstar is indeed preferable. (created by Hansens) -- Also some friends of mine have invented a monster based drink they call either the Testicle or Monsticle. Basically its 25% Monster energy drink, 75% vodka (!), bite into a lime and toss it in, chug whole thing -- allegedly you can barely taste the alcohol. And the lime floating in it looks like a testicle or something. More research on this one still to come no doubt!
Monster Assault - a little more like soda and a little less that Red Bull / Rockstar “energy drink” flavour, tastes very sweet – I’d give it a B- (160mg caffiene / 16oz)
Full Throttle - Full Throttle, the Cocoa-Cola entry in the energy drink category, goes for some kind of lemon-lime flavour. In my opinion, it totally sucks. Interestingly, because Cocoa-Cola is behind it, Full Throttle can be found almsot anywhere. Its perhaps even more pervasive than Red Bull.. but I've never met someone who drinks it.
No Fear – I bought two of these on the way to Oxnard because they were two for one, putting them at $1.30s per 16oz. They tasted kind of like Full Throttle but worse. No Fear is the Sobe energy drink. I dunno if they have a deal with the “No Fear” clothing line or what.

Obscure Brands
Joker Mad Energy - I dunno what to say but that it tastes like rockstar but slightly different… more tart? At first I really liked it but half a can later I’m giving it a lower rating, I dunno if that’s because I was really thirsty at first or what.
Hanson’s Energy Deuce - I’m not sure what the deal with this stuff is, considering that I’m pretty sure Hanson’s makes Monster (among other things, they have the same contact address). I found one battered can of this on the shelf at Albertson’s once. Maybe it’s a relic of the predesessor of Monster? Only it tastes different. I could only describe the taste as “I can’t believe it tastes like that!” not necessarily in a good way, but not necessarily a bad way.. just.. wtf to the mouth. Jason liked it.. said “its not like being kicked in the mouth like other energy drinks.”
Independent Energy - tastes like grapefruit. I suppose it might be good if you’re into that kinda thing? I’m not into that kind of thing.
Ripped - This energy drink has seriously somehow managed to capture the taste of getting your ass kicked by a wave and receiving a mouthful of sea-water. Though without the salt content, its still disgusting.
Ludicrous - distinguishing feature: hella sweet. I mean in the taste sense, not the frasky sense.
Wired - 90mg of caffiene per 16oz (90 mg Inositol, 46mg Taurine), and at $1.19 for a 16oz can at Nugget, I used to live on this stuff (as the cheapest energy drink by far that doesn't taste like ass. In fact none of the ones that taste like ass are that cheap either). Unfortunately The Nugget hasn't carried it for months so I couldn't compare it to the rest. I haven't compared it to Rockstar but I'd say its at least second best to Rockstar by my reckoning.


Bonus: For extra points find the UC Irvine ID card, the 24 oz can of steel reserve, and the energy drink prominantly missing from the photograph.

PS: Don't worry mother, I didn't really drink all 13 at once and hallucinate etc.


In 30 in 30 News
   I'm particularly pleased that 30 in 30 participants are starting to get into the spirit of interacting with one another. [livejournal.com profile] hereticxxii has posted challenges for myself, [livejournal.com profile] meowmeowpants and [livejournal.com profile] metalphoenix. In turn, [livejournal.com profile] xaositecte (whose name, btw, I find on his journal and cut/paste from there whenever I need to write it since its impossible to spell) has challenged [livejournal.com profile] hereticxxii himself.

   I had mentioned before how it would be nice if all the current 30 in 30 participants' entries could be displayed in one place. I decided toward that end to create another livejournal which would list all participants on its friends list (and only participants). So meet [livejournal.com profile] arrrghonaut. Add http://arrrghonaut.livejournal.com/friends/ to your bookmarks as "30 in 30". (= Also I created FAQs about that livejournal and about 30 in 30 if you are interested.

aggienaut: (Default)

   Quick update on 30 in 30. Current participants appear to be [livejournal.com profile] xaositecte, [livejournal.com profile] tonytornado2003, [livejournal.com profile] meowmeowpants, [livejournal.com profile] metalphoenix, [livejournal.com profile] memeworrywort, [livejournal.com profile] kilkenny, [livejournal.com profile] hereticxxii, [livejournal.com profile] anyamartinez, and [livejournal.com profile] jnel (friends-only though). Hopefully I didn't forget anyone?
   I realize it would be nice if all the participants could be perused in one place. I'll come up with some kind of devious solution to this.

   In the mean time you should check out this crazy video [livejournal.com profile] meowmeowpants found of someone completely flipping out in an office and throwing computers around. I also thought this post by [livejournal.com profile] metalphoenix was kind of neat.

   And speaking of things that are neat. [livejournal.com profile] 28bytes made a periodic table of presidents:


Click here to see [livejournal.com profile] 28bytes entry on the subject.



   In other news, yesterday I was up all night, got stung thirty times and moved over a ton (literally) of beehives. TODAY I was interrogated by a special agent in an interrogation cell.
   Seriously. Well I was there to take a test to apply for a job, but let me describe the room they put me in. They sat me down in a small square room with a table bolted to the floor. They left the door open but I noticed the door looked big and heavy and locked from the OUTSIDE. There was a window looking out to the hall but then I noticed I was only seeing the wall of my cell in it -- it looked like a mirror from my end. On the ceiling in one corner was a surveillance camera and two big lights (not on) were pointed directly at my end of the table, such that they'd be shining right in the eyes of someone sitting there if they were on. It was a full on interrogation room!

   Anyway I wasn't gonna count this towards 30 in 30 but as its half ABOUT 30 in 30, but since its the third entry I've made today I figure between them I have today covered. (=

   Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm back to working beehives.

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